Chuckie's Journal

Sep. 11th, 2009

The Spiders on my balcony are getting ambitious.

I never thought it would come to this, the men of my council had satisfied my fears, and yet, the act of war has been declared. I write this to ensure my legacy survives:

A fortnight ago I peered out my chambers and noticed a strange eight legged beast. Foul looking I remained in my quarters and made a mental note of it. Having just seen my Creole Queen I was filled with such unabashed delight that I thought it may have been a slight delusion. On the other hand, what could a single eight legged beast do - to my kingdom?

On the following day after two men of my royal guard had jousted I over heard them mention this odd beast and refer to it as an Arachnid. That same day while Anderson and Afjei were enjoying their supper with mead I decided I should question them on this particular matter. They assured me that these beings were rare and meek, they never sought the blood of men, but simply the blood of creatures more pesky then themselves. With confidence I left the matter un dealt.

Another war had been raging to the North, a war that has been raging for 5 years, the scholars on my council insisted I defeat this country riddled with Sun Devils and Wild Cats. With victory within my grasp my attention had left the Arachnid. This would prove to be an error, for every few days I would notice it multiply. From 1 to 3 to 8 till 20 in my sights just days ago.

My men assured me once more, they were nothing, they meant no harm, they were simply unsavory to gaze upon. Foolishly at ease, I left to the land in the South, to visit my Creole Queen once more, when I returned I had forgotten about the creatures.

I recalled them abruptly last night when I noticed my laundry well was impossible to reach. The path from my balcony led to an army of black limbs belonging to dark shadowed eyes. With a chill, I slept leaving it till the morning to decide on how my royal robes would be cleansed. However, when I awoke from my slumber I noticed three red dots that matched the shape of their teeth on my hands, a warning that my throne would fall victim to their desires. A simple gesture that meant, “You will fall.”

No, not today, not tomorrow, tonight I sleep with an eye open. Tomorrow I rally the men. If it is a war they want, it is a war they will have!

Posted at 11:43 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Nov. 20th, 2008

BTW, I keep winning things.

In just the last 30 days I've won Infinite Undiscovery from : http://www.news10.net/life/entertainment/game-guys/default.aspx just for clicking on their "Win This Game" square and at http://www.escapistmagazine.com I've won a Gears of War novel. I guess I will pay attention to the story. The book is supposed to be a prologue.

Anyway yeah, this is a brag post, but also a Check these sites out post.

Peace

Posted at 11:23 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Shifts

- I can’t complain about work. My eight hour shifts have at most about six hours of work. I have yet to use my additional 2 hours in which I’m still being paid to be productive to do homework or reading, but I’ll adjust in time, I’m sure.

-My sleep schedule like always is ridiculously off track. If a man representing normalcy was on a ship riding the currents of functional sleep, my man would have been lost at sea years ago, but now he’s entirely shipwrecked. A few weeks back I may have told people that my sleeping habits were awkward, but at least they were regular. I could account for my time based off of the day that had passed.

How glorious that sounds.

Now, I lose entire fucking grips of time. If I had such sands that could reverse specific moments, I’d be frightened to use a single grain. Who knows where I’ve been or what I’ve done. I’ve woken up to find strangers in my house. Strangers IVE INVITED!

Anyway, I’d use said sands to rewrite papers that were horrendous. I almost want to apologize to my TAs for having those papers thrust upon them, a poor reflection of not only my work, but of my being.

Grade wise I have a nice buffer of A’s in all my classes so I’m positive that unless I do equally poor on the final exams I can maintain them all and at worst forfeit a few to B’s. Regretfully though, my character has been tarnished.

But Seriously, some nights I get 4 hours, some nights I get two separate blocks of 4 hours in which I do Something in between, and about twice a week I get a nice 12-13 hour uninterrupted respite. I’m sure it “averages” to about 8 hours of sleep. So for those of you that wonder why I don’t answer the phone at 8pm or 2am like I used to, I’m probably asleep. And even if I’m awake, I’m actually asleep.

-I’ve spent the majority of my gaming time on my 360, and I don’t know when my tastes shifted, nor would I have believed they ever would, but it’s jarring to acknowledge that the games I’m playing almost exclusively are western developed. Ubisoft’s repetitive sand box game Assassin’s Creed deserves most of the praise it was given. The “leap of faith” is awesome and the controls awkward at first, but logical and original in the grand scheme of things. With each of the 4 face buttons representing an aspect of Altiar’s body. The bottom button his legs, the left and right buttons his arm’s, and the top button for actions related to the use of his head. My only complaint really is that Jonathon Blow’s Braid gives us a longer experience. Although for the first hour or so I could make a case for AC being equally fresh.

Assassin’s Creed’s real down fall is that it should have been developed for another few months, maybe less then that. It’s just that each voiced dialogue from the NPCs in the city is exactly the same from the first time you are given the liberty to travel from one populous to another. Everything a character can utter in the game will be heard in the first 2 hours. From then on, you’re essentially hearing and doing the same exact stuff over and over. While the difficulty is increasing it never feels substantial. You never feel as though the game is forcing you to think of its mechanics differently. The only reason you can’t do the same moves you did in the beginning of the game (ignoring the prologue) is because the game artificially takes that option away from you. It gives you new skills as you progress through the story. I imagine the reason they don’t give you all the skills to start is because the players would realize how repetitive the game is almost immediately.

What makes up for all that though is that the game is fun. Most games are repetitive, but most at least force you to think differently the further you progress.

I’ve also spent a lot of time with Gears of War 2. I’m not really buying the whole, “no, seriously guys, this story is good this time around.” It opens nicely, but the actual dialogue during missions is disgusting. I’ll try to pay attention more to the story when I attempt insane mode, but really, you hide, you shoot stuff, you hide some more. It’s fun, but let’s accept what it is.

Matt, Trevyn and I just recently played the Left 4 Dead demo last night. Another game deserving it’s praise. I don’t really want to comment too much on it without playing the real game, but the fact that the simulator has a director that will randomize when players will be terrorized by a wave of zombies really makes the experience feel authentic. For those of you some how reading this far into my “game” section, but that still don’t know what Left 4 Dead is, it’s a "zombie horror survival simulator," essentially. Where regardless of the number of controlled players, there are always 4 characters in the game in which the player must cooperate with to survive zombie death. Cooperate is italicized because of people like Trevyn, who likes to set off car alarms to insure the death of many.

I’d advise people to read what they have said at RobotPanic.com about Left 4 Dead and to check out their weekly podcast, The Drunken Gamers. But I know most of you are lazy, so I’ll just insert what is the most acute reflection of my own personal experience/thoughts with the game. It comes from their post declaring it as the "best zombie game (ever)" with 5 reasons.

“2. It Let’s You BE the Character: That’s not me saying it gives you the ability to role play. Although you can do that if you must. What makes Left 4 Dead such a brilliant game is that it’s meant to be co-op and as such, takes what is often Xbox LIVE’s greatest detriment and turns it into an asset. We’ve bitched about the douche factor on LIVE for years. We’re not easy people to get along with in general over here and we’re often too easily annoyed by the slightest quirks in people. When it comes to online play, the anonymous nature of a headset and an avatar usually leads us far, far away from any interaction with strangers. But in Left 4 Dead, it works.

When you’re in a group with 3 other strangers, the weird ass quirky people actually work as characters in a zombie movie. You’re always going to have the “new kid” who’s doing this for the first time. There’s your noob. You’re going to have the experienced, hard as nails tough guy. There’s your expert, hardcore player. You’re going to have your strategist, you’re going to have a daredevil, and you’re going to have some crazy ass guy that’s a loose cannon and annoys the shit out of everybody. All the different personalities that you find on your favorite online service work very well in a game like this. Without putting on some fake story, or forcing you to do something to give the game a better narrative, the co-op nature of the game simply let’s everyone be a character. And with every “oh, shit!” moment, the nature of your companions comes through and makes it feel as if you’re really IN a zombie movie. This may be the first time that the fundamental nature of Xbox LIVE and Steam really become an integral, core part of the game. For my money, this is the first time the social element of Xbox LIVE really, really works.”

Can’t wait for that to arrive in the mail.

Hope that wasn’t too long.

I can’t seem to post as often as I’d like,.

Who’s to say whats to blame?

Extra Interests:

-Cooking Mama and Vegetarians Unite!

-People may be forced to be less offensive, lets cross our fingers!

Posted at 04:46 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Nov. 9th, 2008

The End of a Blog Hiatus

It happens from time to time, that we gain access to something we don't normally have, whether it's something that we want, or something we would have preferred never having been apart of. I'm not even talking about theories of art or where people get the idea for the creation of art, instead I speak of experiences more visceral, more concrete. For example, the month that I joined a Christian youth group was also the same month that I experienced the look and smell of weed. My resulted experience clearly deranged from my intended one.

I say this because I've recently been kicked from an Eden of sorts. A paradise would be an exaggeration, but the fall, relatable. I was in a relationship (not to be confused with a relationship, implying a further degree of intimacy) that I enjoyed and consequently destroyed, which is probably why I don't have nice things. I really am a nice guy though. At least most of the time.

Anyway, my hiatus from blogging has come from the fact that my life used to be exciting, I used to meet people, I used to be involved with people and I certainly didn't used to study or game as much as I have. As of late. I've actually been playing a number of games, to the point that I've taken notes of games to make sure that I remember certain things, but I'll honestly probably never use them. So it's no surprise for those that know me, that I'd change something to ruin my life's consistency. If there is anything I've learned, it's hard to write when you're not doing anything. It's also hard to write about games when people do it before you, and when people do it with games more relevant. Also when people's comics do it better then anyone.

So my life has been re-wired.

The last two weekends prior to this one I've spent drinking heavily with strangers. Talking to girls out of my own persona. People do this all the time. This is fairly regular for people to do. Italicized, because I'm clearly not said people. Not that there is anything wrong with people, but c'mon, I rarely know what people talk about. At the parties I was confused ½ the time as to what people were saying, hitting on girls wasn't an act of bravery, but an action taken to avoid in-action. I didn't focus or succeed on achieving numbers, but it's more the practice that I'm after.For anyone that knows Trevyn, they must assume that he did succeed. And they'd be right.

I've also re-realized what I've already known, which is that I've gotta learn to drink beer, because although it's gross, thats what people drink.

So my weekends have been filled with parties, and Smash, while my weekdays from now on are to be filled sitting at an office. The work isn't as exciting as it is to say that I work in an office. That's exciting. I work with people that accomplish things. Vicariously I feel as though I do. Verily I know my job would be accomplished by programs if such programs could exist.

I work for the department of Engineering at ASU. The department of online classes. Monday-Friday I watch our email account and make sure that no students are having problems with submitting or receiving their graded and ungraded homework/exams. It's also part of my job to make sure that I call students that haven't submitted exams, reminding them that perhaps they may want to, you know, not fail. I won't go into the specifics, but know that I spend the entirety of my 8 hour shift in front of a computer or scanner. Hardly exhilarating, but for close to 10 an hour, I can't complain. The people around the office seem nice and I get my 1 hour lunch respite when I please.

I've also started working at my old job as a waiter again on Saturday nights, which is worthwhile most of the time, but what it means is that between school and work the only day in which I have neither is Sunday. My 3 days to focus on homework have been obliterated. Leaving 1 day in my week for homework.

I have yet to adapt.

So...that's whats going on with me. Here are few more random links of stuff that people might care about:

-Bjork explaining that you “shouldn't let poets lie to you,” and that Danish books are truth.

-Shin Megami Tensei Online MMO, seriously if anyone is playing this, or has time to play this, tell me how it is.

-DS GTA game to have the option of buying/selling drugs. Reminds me of a certain TI Calculator game I'm pretty sure everyone I knew was obsessed with.

For those people curious, I'm currently playing:

-Gears of War 2

-Dragon Quest 4

-Rock Band 2

-Guitar Hero: World Tour

-Assassin's Creed

-Dragon Quest Swords

-Mega Man 9 (As Protoman)

Posted at 04:02 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Oct. 22nd, 2008

Sorry for the lack of updates.

But...for those that don't have myspace or facebook.

Party at my place on the 25th, message me for directions or text me. 520-403-2589.

Dress up if you can, expect a lot of drinking, expect some Rock Band 2, and expect for people to shame themselves in their Halloween attire.
Everyone is invited!

Oct. 1st, 2008

Breaking Wallets

It's late August, early September, it's that time of the year where really awesome things start to come out. Rock Band 2 is already out, Guitar Hero World Tour is on it's way, Mirror's Edge, will be here in November? Not to mention Gears of War 2 and a Halo 3 “Expansion.” I don't actually own anything related to those last two, but I certainly plan to in the coming months. Not because I think they're anything revolutionary or even great games in their own right, simply that they give me an excuse to play games with people in other cities and they are pretty good.

Mega Man 9 just recently came out on all platforms. PSN, XBLA, and WiiWare, the most awesome people bought the WiiWare version, but I side track to be an ass and an elitist that is over joyed by being able to play a new NES styled platformer with an NES styled controller. However what I do want to say about it, is what the Penny Arcade people have already - out of necessity, - captured in their most recent comic.

So instead, let me say this: Don't be fooled into believing that nostalgia alone carries the title, while it certainly empowers it with some kind of emotional energy, it's a different kind of pleasure for the uninitiated. In a way that I believe Portal was for me. Mega Man 9 takes the basic Mega Man formula and difficulty then finds ways to make expected obstacles more interesting. In one stage it takes the basic principles of moving platforms, but then rotates you and the platform, so you're not simply timing your jump from platform A to B horizontally, but also making sure that Mega Man is right side up as he rotates on the platform so you're paying attention to your location vertically. If the platform gets to the end of it's path while rotating you below it, jumping will force you to fall straight down, so you have to wait for both the platform to be at the right spot and for Mega Man to be above the platform. It adds a dynamic that doesn't necessarily make the game harder, but it forces you to pay attention to 3 things instead of 2.

The game has the old school learning curve philosophy of preparing the player to die his first time through a stage/boss, but then, in that same vein, the philosophy allows an observing player to run through a stage flawlessly on his second encounter. The difficulty seemed perfect in this regard in that I never felt too punished for death, because I knew every mistake I made, was avoidable with mental preparation 2nd time through. Including Wily's castle.

The game does have a number of “nifty cool” shenanigans for Capcom's worshiping followers. I'm thankful that they kept the game as old school as they did without leaving in anything obnoxious like passwords, they did however, maintain the belief that Wily's castle deserved to be played in one sitting. Which i guess is kinda fair. Poe felt the same way with his stories and poetry, maybe their is some logic to it.

Didn't really plan to say so much about Mega Man 9, but I love the game. It's fucking great! I want to keep playing it to unlock the in game achievements that the Wii version has, but I don't want to absorb too much of it's greatness before trying out the XBLA version that I know I'll be playing in Tucson.

2007 may have had a number of awesome titles released on the shelves, but 2008 has had so many impressive games released through online networks that I can't help but feel as though my wallet is already too far gone for whats going to be released in October. Forget about November or December.

Links of stuff I'll probably forget to talk about:
http://kotaku.com/5051178/prelude-proves-portal-is-still-alive - Unofficial Portal Prelude Trailer

http://www.gamesradar.com/f/mega-man-week-150-exclusive-custom-wallpapers - Awesome Old School Mega Man Art

http://kotaku.com/5053402/obama-or-mccain-+-whos-leading-in-xbox-live-survey - Go Obama!

Posted at 11:31 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Sep. 26th, 2008

New Survivor

Survivor Gabon has begun and I've missed it. The details for missing it I'll probably mention at a later time if it ever becomes essential, but I've been looking forward to this season since it was spread throughout the Smash community that “Sephiroth Ken,” would be one of the contestants.

I've had sparse interactions with Ken, a few tournament matches, his presence when I took HugS' name at Pound, but what I remember most is when he tried to pick up on my girl Michelle from New Mexico. He was socially awkward and even in a friendly match he didn't let a girl beat him. Yet, He was trying to lay down some game, like he got game.I think Michelle enjoyed the attention (who doesn't), but thought he was weird. I remember the incident, not only because he was trying to put some moves on my lady, but because I enjoyed watching the best smasher in the world transform into an impotent ghost. Some how, it felt like an ethereal lesson.

So it's strange to know that a guy I've met, a guy that knows me, knows my first name and smash name, would be on a reality T.V. show. I've always had a sense, no a belief, that no one I knew would ever really be a contestant to any show that I watched regularly or had watched. It's not that I'm pessimistic, simply that there is some kind of sanctity to what I watch on television.

To be clear, I don't watch a lot of television, so what I do watch is either things I care a lot about, or things that are purposefully distractive (I made it a word). People say games are a form of escape, I've rarely used games in that context since high school, but bad television, bad television seems designed for this. I used to lay around on the couch and watch the Real World, Blind Date or Girls Next Door, simply to maintain a nice relaxing vegetative state. I still do this, but it's for when I don't want to do shit or think shit. Theres a time for everything, right?

Anyway, knowing that Ken would be on a show that I had loved years ago was pretty eventful, I've been looking forward to seeing how he would represent gamers in a non-gaming setting.

How confident will he be? how capable will he be, will he interact with everyone, will people like him, how long will he stay in the game?

Essentially, do competitive gamers have something to offer and is the fact that he's a competitive gamer even relevant?

I have yet to hear anything about the season premier, but I imagine someone would have texted me:“LOL Ken is out already!,” if he wasn't still in the game. So I'm writing this with the assumption that he still is.

I'll be watching the season premier one way or another in the next few days, and I'll cross my fingers that Ken doesn't disappoint, how can he, he's got mind games.

Season Opener: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6YNzvnefn0

About Ken: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/bio/ken_17/bio.php?season=17

Posted at 01:25 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Sep. 19th, 2008

Quickie: Consolation prize: Games = Art

I wanted to write a blog I promise, but I instead stayed up all night playing Melee and doing extremely well, which hasn't happened in a while so I was into it. Anyway I still have a paper to work on, but I needed to read something to get me in the mood of writing and I saw a thread about a cliche' question about games. Are they Art? Of course they are, but I figured instead of writing a unique blog about my life or about a game I love I'd just write my reply to that thread. Yeah I know, I'm a bitch, but sometimes people have to be bitches. Anyway here you go:

Here are 2 Reasons that games aren't considered art.

1)People like the ones in this thread that go to a gaming forum and still don't think games should be art. I don't know about you guys, but if I let my life be consumed enough by something to go to a forum dedicated to that something I'm going to at least take it seriously. Otherwise why am I wasting my time with it and not doing something more productive?

It's like playing something competitively, but not caring if you win or lose. Then why bother? (I'm not saying you need to win, just that you should care one way or another.)

2)The peak of interest vs the amount of time it takes to get into video games.

I have a number of non-gamer friends think games are art and a number that don't, but whenever I show them a game they think is interesting the controller is just to foreign for them to get interested to the point where their interest out weighs that level of worry from the unknown.

Why Games will eventually be art:

1)I think it's impossible for many of it's parts to be art and yet for a game itself not to be art.

People keep saying that games need a good story to be art. That is one path, but gaming is such a powerful medium that it has more then just one. Okami didn't blow me away with its story, it blew me away with it's artistic direction (Japanese water color aesthetic) and atmosphere. The story was simply adequate. Braid is art because of the poetry, the paintings/backgrounds, the music and the game play closely tied to the rest of those things.

2)Because of people like Jerry Holkins, Mike Krahulik and Jonathan Blow.

They understand how games can influence, express and reflect aspects of the human condition. We simply need the people creating them to be more like them. Look at Miyamoto (creator of Mario/Zelda), his games are based off things he did as a child. When the ratio of flashy games to meaningful games begins to be the same as books or movies, games will be an art form.

We can speed up the process though, simply by saying that they are "undeniably art."

So yeah.

Where have you been?

Games are Art.

Sep. 8th, 2008

Quickie: The more you know -----> Star

Yeah I've been trying to reply to some messages recently, but my computer has this wonderful infection that keeps it from you know, being useful. *sigh* I wish it would decide to work or not to work so I could decide on what to do with it. Been running the despicable culprit through the gauntlet of spy ware protection programs. I've got three that I run almost every day and they all tend to find an "Extremely High Priority" Bug that needs to be removed immediately, but you know, after about an hour or so of use, my computer is mysteriously running slow again and must be restarted.

So yeah, no fun.

Starting tomorrow I'll either be enrolled in six classes for 18 units. Scary! Or I'll be dropping Spanish for a student run creative writing magazine for ASU. Not sure yet because for now the schedule for the internship seems very loose, possibly requiring me to be somewhere on Wednesday at 3:30 which would create a conflict and thus two possible scenarios in which to resolve it. A)Splitting myself in two, one half attending my Spanish class and the other half at the internship or option B) Being whole at my internship. I haven't yet mastered the art of functioning as two separate entities, so I'm thinking I'll end up choosing B.

Looking for a job has led me no where, my current schedule has me only going to school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Wooo! But students in my position have already found the jobs I need cause they're whores! So when I apply at places and get interviews, they're like, “yeah, we already have students working on Tuesday and Thursday so we need people for MWF.”

Still functioning on loans, but with Rock Band 2 coming out I'd kinda like some kind of dependable income.

P.S. Happy Birthday Omar!

Sep. 1st, 2008

First Week of School:

I've never been a "good student." I've been adequate. I've met basic expectations, I've completed assignments in the allotted time frame in which they are assigned, but very rarely do I go above and beyond what is expected of me. Not to say that I've never done so, but it's a rare occasion.

The last two semesters I've managed to make the Dean's list, something I would never have envisioned myself ever accomplishing. I've always scrapped by, sparks splashing, shards flying, as I've skitted over the line of "success." However if the graph was flipped, "failure" would have always been in arms reach.

I've thought about the changes in my attitude and habits that may have created this new buffer of success, but have yet to pin point it, leaving me to believe the answers lies in a number of places then any thing specific, but I'm living in fear knowing that school has restarted and I've only started doing homework yesterday. Thank god for Labor Day. Perhaps my buffer is luck.

Praise be to Yevon that most of my classes seem alright. British Literature and Shakespeare come off like exercise. I often hate the idea of doing the reading for them, but when I'm finished I can't help, but feel as though I've learned some valuable Truth. Magazine Writing and Poetry are both leading me to expect great things, and my poetry teacher reminds me of myself when he talks about the "Forms" and their distinction from "forms" of poetry. He also doesn't accept the author of any work to be the soul owner of what it is that they wrote. So I know will get along.

My Fifth class is Spanish 202 fulfilling a requirement I had already met while at the UofA, but their department doesn't compare '203' to '201 and 202' instead their native speakers must take '211 and 212.' So that was extremely frustrating to discover, but my teacher is so extremely flamboyant and dorky, that it almost feels as though Derek (H) is teaching me Spanish. So I don't mind.

Other then school I've spent a lot of time just buying things I've always wanted to have, but could never afford. I bought Mike's California King Size bed from him and I've never owned a bed larger then a twin so it's like, BOOM! I can lay on it from head to toe in ANY direction. I also bought myself a digital camera because I really don't have that many pictures of myself or my friends other then what I've posted on my MySpace or that they've posted on theirs. Picked up a copy of Wii Fit that I've only played twice, shame on me and then about $450 on text books, probably another $100 on school related supplies.

So yeah, I'm doing well, the quality of my life is significantly higher then it's ever been and I'm looking forward to people visiting me. I really should get to the books though, just figured a blog hadn't been posted for awhile. Really trying to get better about it, but life slips by.

Aug. 25th, 2008

School is back tomorrow.

mood:

cranky

So not looking forward to it.

:(

Got a web cam and can finally to talk to friends that are in lame foreign countries. I miss them :(

Posted at 12:39 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Aug. 20th, 2008

I got tagged! (Damn you Troy! fist shake)

DIRECTIONS: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ("you're it") and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you.

1.I'm a cheater that won't tag anyone, but people are welcome to just write their own 16 things in their blogs. Also, to make this a legitimate number, I HATE CHAIN LETTERS OR CHAIN SURVEYS! I make exceptions though, sometimes : )
2.I hate religion
3.I believe there is A god
4.I don't believe anything original belongs to any one person.
5.I can never tell if I work too hard at a thousand goals or disguise my failures in impossible ones.
6.I'm always in love
7.I worry way too much. Although I feint a nonchalant persona that I believe is becoming transparent.
8.My main goal in life is to create something as known as Penny-Arcade to the gaming community or to become as significant a gamer as Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik.
9.I only feel confident in Tucson
10.People probably think I'm dramatic or a goof ball, but I really do love KITTIES!!
11.I miss Michelle and Jason, but because I can never see them in person I'm always too ashamed to call them.
12.I'm never writing or reading as much as I should.
13.I want to be an achievement whore.
14.If my emotions were anything like my logic, my heart would pump ice.
15.I don't think I've ever learned how to balance anything.
16.I want to have a child when I'm 30-40, I want it to be a girl. I want to spoil her, and I want her to know Spanish. She'll be smart, attractive and she'll light the world on fire.

Posted at 06:04 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Aug. 13th, 2008

Random Rant: End of the Summer

music: Metal Gear Solid 4 OST

I used to be Mormon, but as of now I function as an agnostic. In certain debates people tend to assume or believe that I'm atheist. While I find myself unable to accept a world in which there is no god, I also cannot accept the fact that there is a god that cares about our every action, whim or desire. If there is a god, he's too tied up keeping the universe in order to give a damn about any single person.

Two close friends of mine have recently departed on life altering journeys. My friend Ava has gone to Africa to educate people in order to help the AIDS epidemic and my friend Jocelyn has just flown to China where she will be teaching elementary school children English for at least a year. What I've recently been thinking, is how amusing it is to know that as children we all focused our energy in being close to friends 100% of the time, our parents pulling us out of the houses of our friends to our own homes where we felt isolated, but never alone.

Now a days it seems as though the most important path we take must be walked alone and sometimes those paths leave us feeling strangely alone in a world so technologically knit.

I've recently and finally obtained my license. I've taken a course on driving, gotten a certificate to lower any future insurance and have already taken advantage of my license twice (I know, scary!) Manny moved in two days ago and needed someone to drive his car when he picked up his U-Haul and someone to take his car to the U-Haul depot when he dropped off his U-Haul. I drove with no incident.

Omar will be arriving in about 8 hours, car and family's truck packed with his belongings. I don't believe he's ever lived on his own before now, so I'm hoping will all get along and he'll have a good experience.

School starts in 12 days! Why am I still in school? It feels as though I've been attending a university for half my life, but this school year will hopefully be the end of it with at most two classes more to take Fall of 09. It's hard to tell with some of my prior credits still not correctly transferred.

Not much is going on. I'm still unemployed and my funds are still tight until the money for the coming semester is transferred into my account. I've mostly been biding my time handling moving people in, Mike moving out, exercise and gaming (a lot of it.)

Until I write anything further, just know that you need to play Braid and that screen shots and reviews cannot express how well this game executes what only a video game can do.

Tags: braid, life

Jul. 31st, 2008

Playing Catch Up

mood:

chipper

music: DQ7 orchestrated music

A number of changes have occurred altering the landscape of my life. A few more will take place before school starts and for the hundredth time I feel like I've been through this before.

As many of you know, I've broken up with Jas, and although I'm still not confident that it was the most acute decision, I do for the time being maintain the sense that it was strangely the right thing to do. I won't pretend anything else on the matter or go into further detail, but feel as though all my close acquaintances should know it without it having to be brought up or openly mentioned.

My roommate Mike is moving to Utah after having spent a year here. I think he's done with the heat, it's too damn hot, but more importantly he has Idaho friends, family and a new experience waiting for him there. I'm sure will keep in touch, but I'm also sure that had we gotten along as well as we had originally imagined, he would be staying here at least another year. So in that same vein it's difficult not to feel like a complete failure.

Speaking of failures, the job market right now is a complete failure. Trevyn and 2 other friends of mine have been un-able to find a job anywhere for the past month. With no money from Trevyn, Mike moving to Utah and a third of rent to be taken care of, our friend Manny (Goop) decided to live with us, needing to get away from his current roommates that our extremely passive aggressive. So for those of you that don't know I'll be living with Trevyn, Manny, and Omar (Blood of the Fallen) for the next 10 months or so.

As depressed as I could be, having lost my job due to my new location on top of all these recent changes. I'm actually quite cheerful. Manny relieved a number of financial concerns I maintained and starting on Sunday I'll finally be going to driving school, so hopefully this time next month I'll have a car and a license. Last time I went down to Tucson I explained how seriously I was needing a license, I'm fucking 22, and surprisingly my Grampa completely willing offered to pay for a class that would be authorized to teach me to drive and to give me a license directly, so I'm stoked. My Aunt will be giving me a gas monstrosity when I acquire the damn thing, but thankfully I live much closer to campus now and won't be needing to drive there.

It's hard not to feel good when you have ridiculously large amounts of free time. Other then my personal project which I've been tackling in very small doses I've mostly been playing video games, burning 600 calories a day (300 on off days), and looking for Data Entry or Sales Rep positions that are part time to work at. After getting used to $15 an hour as a server anything under $10 seems un-live able, but as time passes I imagine my standards will drop.

So yeah, First project Megaton announcement: expect some kind of website for it by mid January of 09.

Tags: wac announcement

Jul. 10th, 2008

The Golden Age

I don't think I'd be capable of counting the times that I've heard someone say, "This game looks alright, but not as good as Game X." Where game X is of course some game that that individual spent a large amount of their personal time with when they were younger. These people I'm sure I've been one of them at some point, and still am at other points understand the incredible weight and attachment that their personal nostalgia brings to the table.

This mentality is natural. Games are different then other medias because they ask for a larger investment of time, you can't simply or even passively experience a game, you must take an active role or nothing will occur.

For a while, and less so now, people would often wonder if games were going to suddenly come to a halt, interest in them diminish and their value decrease. This idea stemmed off the fact that a large portion of games released are from unoriginal IPs (Note games such as: Guitar Hero 3, Devil May Cry 4, Halo 3, GTA 4, etc). .There was also a point in which people debated whether or not gaming was an art form, but was that ever really relevant, if anything games coalesce many arts,
and are undeniably art by the fact that it's individual parts certainly are.

Anyway, It's been said that the time in which the NES was dominate was the "Golden age" of gaming, and it's been said that the time in which the SNES was dominate was the "Golden age" of gaming, and of course the same bell has been rung for the PSX era. Now again for the 360/Wii era, but I'm happy to announce that I don't believe we're there yet, we've never seen it, but every year we get closer and closer to it.

Capcom for example has sudden realized the power of their sleeping IPs. Just recently the Daxter team got to live a group fantasy and work/re-release Okami on the Wii with motion controls. Which I'd advise everyone to play whether it's the original version or the Wii version. They've also got a remake of Bionic Commando for XBLA coming out which I personally have a large attachment too and have always considered a classic, but more importantly they've gone and fulfilled every Mega Man fan's wet dream by announcing Mega Man 9.A brand new, 8-Bit stylized sequel to the original series. .

Square Enix has been releasing remakes of old, truly classic RPGs with visual over hauls for a while now and while none of these games are new, the characters, the stories of these games have pulled at the heart strings of boys now men, or girls no women for over a decade. Whether you think it's easy money, lazy developers or any other negative quality, in a way, Square Enix is simply a tradition bearer for a culture that makes there past tales impossible to play. At any point a new console can make our past library of games obsolete (Ex: PS2 to PS3). So as annoyed as people are by companies constantly re-releasing and spending the time of their teams to make classics new, it's also sorta comforting. It feels good to know that the stories that I grew up on will be available to my children. I can read my child the dialogue of Chrono Trigger and let them beat the bad guys with loving guidance.

Don't be fooled with the announcements of another Diablo another Starcraft, or another GTA having just been released, we are going forward. Creative people are always creating.

I've never been one to be to excited for an EA game especially with their desire to be the Galactus of smaller game studios, but a game has been popping it's head out into the gaming news from time to time that I've been unable to ignore since seeing a trailer of the game in action.

With Mirror's Edge, then with Rock Band becoming such a platform for music, one in which the music industry can once again reclaim some money lost in illegal downloads, I'm not sure anyone should throw in the towel and call any single generation of consoles a golden age. So far they've each done something vital to the growth of the industry, I also imagine each has a respectful amount of games that will end up on the lists of many University's gaming canons.

Tags: megaman 9, mirror's edge

Jul. 6th, 2008

(no subject)

Work has been slow lately, on some days I can count the number of tables I've gotten on a single hand. So not only have I been working more hours, but weekly my pay has been relatively the same as it was during the school year. Hourly (on average) it's still better then working anywhere for less then 10 an hour, but at the end of the day when I look at what I've earned, its emotionally draining and discouraging to know I'm simply working for less.

It's almost as though some ethereal creature from it's heavenly plane had seen how well my life had been going and decided to make it more challenging, wrapped up a voodoo doll of me in string then tossed me under his bed side lamp. If he's forgotten of me, I'm fine with that, but can he at least turn off the light?

It's fucking hot in Arizona, businesses are slow, my friend Trevyn has been applying to 3 jobs a day on average and getting no where. Clearly the city has as many adventures as it can afford. Money like always is tight, but I always manage to get by so I'm not too worried, things will work themselves out.

What I'm making sure not to forget is my personal goals. I let most of them slip while working 6 days a week the last two weeks, but have already gotten back on track. Gained a good ten pounds at some point, some of it muscle, but probably most of it not, so without the aid of Wii Fit I've got to lose them and get back to 185. I've sorta given up on making a website, not forever, but for the moment. I've begun a larger project which will be needing a website at some point, so the design of my own has simply been delayed, not entirely dropped. I've also enrolled the help of my old best friend from Elementary school and Middle school. Keeping it under wraps until I'm further along and have some physical stuff in my hands to show. In any case it's exciting.

I've been reading a lot lately and must advise all gamers to read Game Over by David Sheff. An entire chapter is dedicated to people trying to obtain the rights to Tetris and it's fucking riveting. Couldn't put it down. On the cover it's referred to as the "bible" of gaming and it really is, fucking genesis of everything I play now. Reading "Grand Theft Childhood" now and it's alright, full of facts and specifics that I won't remember, but a few anecdotes that I will. Can't suggest it unless you're as big a nerd as myself and want to validate and maintain a spotless image of gaming as I always do.

I'll be back to updating more frequently.

Promise.

Posted at 10:44 pm | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jun. 19th, 2008

My Life (As a King)

As Cathedrals were drawn up, new citizens lined up to be adventurers, and I ran from place to place to raise people's morale, it was as though Square's My Life as a King was a reflection of my own life.

My city is Mylak, where my original attempt had the awful name of Esterlind, from god knows where, it's a complete improvement. Esterlind failed in direction,planning, and understanding of the game mechanics. See, in My life as a King, you can't simply build things where they look best, or spread the shops around to give fictional people a reason to walk to every corner of their new city, no, you must build things in specific kinds of spots to meet the highest level of success. This games a fucking ocean, it's got depth, well, it's atleast a lake, a really big lake.

When I started Esterlind I had no idea how stuff worked, for Mylak, I mastered the process of city building, and can say pretty confidently that you know what, I got this shit down. My way of making cities could be streamlined across peoples Wii's, like Starbucks on street corners. Each city of mine fucking delicious.

Anyway, Esterlind didn't fail because I'm an idiot, it failed because their were aspects of the game that I couldn't possibly have known when I began it's creation.

For example; Adventurers like myself, like to shop all fucking day, like to browse even, most of the time they don't even buy shit, so when you HAVE TO send your adventures to a distant land, and you have your Armor shops, your item shops and your weapon shops spread out like they got a disease contagious to one another, these fuckers spend their whole time shopping and browsing, and before they get all the way to that distant land, their time is spent and they're coming home, bitching that it's too dark.

First off, how fucking annoying, second off, Mylak corrected this, by forcing the shops to hold hands.

My point however, hidden in that tangent to educate future players, is that Esterlind failed because I didn't have knowledge that I had to learn for myself.

Outside of my Wii, life is changing again, Trevyn (T Hot) is living with me again, Omar should be moving down in late July and I'll be in a situation that I've been in before. Sharing an apartment with 3 other guys, but this time I know what I'm doing. What also makes me happy is that my life before was clearly Esterlind, lacking direction, lacking efficiency and knowledge. Well I got that now. I got a year left of school, maybe a semester on top of that. I'm getting driving lessons again, I've been burning over 360 calories on the days that I don't work and the days that I do work I'm averaging a lot more an hour then I've ever made. Plus who says I still can't fuck around?

I dunno, my life could probably be better and I'm always trying to improve, but for now, I feel like a King.

Tags: life, my life as a king

Posted at 06:31 am | Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jun. 10th, 2008

Fogive them D.O.G. for they know not what they do.

Deity of Games

I've moved into my new apartment without a problem: internet, electricity, cable, all working since day one. However, moving in on Sunday was not fun, 5 hours of moving heavy stuff, then 5 hours of waitering = not fun, my body's been suffering for it.

It's strange though, normally I would get a strange kick of having to reorganize my belongings. Alphabetizing my games would be invigorating to an extent, it's enjoyable to spend time, even it's a short while, with old characters. Normally the experience is almost spiritual and the ritual a time sacrifice to some gaming deity, the same deity that makes trading in games sacrilegious. The experience of having had my games stolen in 2005 (about 80 of them) was heart shattering, but afterwards I started over and thankfully my PS one collection survived because it was some where else. Now they sit behind me in a bookshelf, from the Arc the Lad Collection to Suikoden to Xenogears. The problem now, other then my collection's various scars is that I've either grown to old for the gaming deity's magic to work, or the internet has grown to convenient. Normally I'd be un-able to set Wild Arms into my collection without first setting it into my PS2, but now knowing that I could easily find the intro on YouTube has a strange domino effect on my spirit, weakening my desire to pull the disc out then extinguishing my desire to watch the intro.

Having said that, the concept of digital distribution is terrifying to me and continues to be as the Xbox Live Market Place flourishes and Nintendo join the bandwagon with it's WiiWare. I've always had a strange respect for not just the games, but the experience I've had with them and the packaging for whatever reason has always had to represent that. Thus buying used games has always been a difficult practice for me.

Now with digital distribution, where do I set something in my living space to remind myself, or to inform others that I've experienced a game? What can I lie to let people know that I've played Geometry wars? I guess more importantly why do I care? As time goes on I'm beginning to feel as though I've practiced a false faith, but I'm stubborn to change my mind about it. I'll continue to re-buy games I had stolen and I'll continue to refuse selling any.

I'd ask why people buy movies, but the answer is simple, to re-watch. Most games are simply to long for that, so perhaps digital distribution just makes sense. Take Rock band for example, downloading more songs is a much better practice then if people were to have to buy song packs in a store, but whats going to happen when the next generation consoles come out?

Speaking of Rock Band, what are people going to do when they have to buy their unique guitars, drum sets, and mics for Guitar Hero: World Tour, and Rock Revolution.

My room's much larger now, but perhaps the people behind digital distribution are getting tired of upgrading their homes, maybe they just needed more space and said fuck it, lets make it all digital.

Jun. 6th, 2008

Maine

It was a fun trip didn't do too much of anything. Most days were spent getting up late, going to sleep between midnight and 2 a.m. and spending time with Jas' family. Me and Jas went to Maine as best friends and came back as a couple. We've spent a lot of time thinking about being official or not, but finally did it on the 23rd last month. Were both happy about it, it was really just a matter of time. We've known we were perfect for each since the first time we hung out together after work. I'm sure everyone that reads this knows, but I met her working at a cafe' about a year and a half ago. She's also a student.

Anyway, in Maine I met Jas' sister Jade and her husband Mike that was awesome enough to make us breakfast in bed on a few occasions. Jade is as funny and as ridiculous as Jas, but a bit more crude which was funny, but I spent most of my time thinking about my future, what I want to be doing, how far I feel I've gone in the past few years and being incredibly nostalgic for my old traveling Smash days.

Didn't really change any of my resolutions on what I should be doing, really just questioned them to end up strengthening them. I feel I'm on the right path.

Not going to say much about Jas' parents, their crazy and I underestimated them as she told me I would. I already miss the cool air, the nice breeze that was seemingly always present and the floral landscape. Arizona just seems so dry and depressing compared. Reminded me that my final destination isn't here, but in Seattle, San Diego, Boston, New York, or Chicago. A place in constant motion. Where things relevant to society as a whole are trying to happen on a regular basis.

The only ocean I've ever been in was the Pacific, so finally being able to dip my toes in the Atlantic was fun, the only other case in which I've seen it was when I've flown over it.

Was gonna say more, but I gotta head out.

As side notes:

It was time for a new icon, I've had that Dante one for far too long.

If anyone is interested in seeing the pictures from Maine you can go ahead and check out my face book or my myspace account posted in my profile.

May. 15th, 2008

Plain old update

Alright So I'm a bad person with a decent amount going on, so it's really just inexcusable that I haven't made an update, but yeah, lets see.

First me and my roommate Mike are moving to a new place closer to ASU. Bye!~Bye! hour and 30 minutes to get to school and hello 25 minutes! 5-10 minutes in a car which is nice. The area seems a lot safer too which is cool so hopefully no roommates get their cars stolen at this place.

We should be moving in around the 5th of next month, getting back from my trip to Maine. For those of you that don't know, me and Jas were going for her sister's baby shower around the 25th of this month, but seeing as how her sister had her baby a month early and that the baby/mother could still need assistance while we're there who knows what were going to end up doing, anyway it should be fun and I'm going to be gone between the 21st of this month to 30th. I really don't care what we end up doing, seeing the beach of the East coast will be awesome, the most East I've been in the states is Indiana. So yeah I'm looking forward to it.

Feeling bad about missing Maria's graduation, but also Jocelyn's and my friend Sarah's graduation both going on this week, but with all the fee's for moving on top of transfer fees that allow us to break our lease 2 months early, I just couldn't justify going down to Tucson, spending money and then being unable to work. Starting tomorrow I'll be working 5-6 hours every day until I'm off to Maine.

The worst thing about the timing of all of this is that the paper work for the apartment for me, Mike and Omar, should be made official around the 21st, but thats when I'm leaving and thats while Omar is still on his vacation in North Carolina. So I'm just filling out the paper work, giving Mike money and hoping it gets sorted out. After talking to them today I think will be fine. Then when I get back, our current apartment doesn't have us out until the 12th of next month which were forced to pay for, so we have time to transfer Electricity, Cable and then to move our shit.

So yeah currently me and Mike pay around 500 each for utilities and rent, but at our new place the rent will be 990, for three and will probably have Mike's friend Chris sleeping in our living room, paying for utilities. So instead of 500 a month I'll be paying less then 330. (Mike wants the master bedroom.) Looks like I'll finally be able to stop using my credit card. Wooo! I'll be looking for a new job of course, but working at my current restaurant until I find one, scraping by until next semester's student loans come in.

Sorry, that mess is all my financial/apartment/trip situation. It feels that tangled in my mind, so if it didn't entirely make sense, you know how I feel.

In the games department I'm playing and actually liking Grand Theft Auto IV, I know I know, Chucking playing GTA, WTF!? It's fun and the fact that the characters are likable/engaging make it worth playing. I also recently downloaded "My life as King," the new Final Fantasy/SQENIX WiiWare title and I'm not quite sure that I could recommend it, but I've owned it for less then 48 hours and have probably played it almost as much as GTA IV, which I'd play more if I hadn't gotten addicted to Guitar Hero 3. Gaming I'm busy, financially I'm going broke, and I've been more social lately, by going to peoples houses to play Brawl.

Life's pretty good right now.

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